My Nanna was lost and confused, deteriorating after 2 years in a rest home. I felt vulnerable, alone and heartbroken. I was physically, mentally and emotionally shattered from watching her change before my eyes. I wanted her to be happy again.
The decision was made to move her to a different Care Centre closer to home. The Management team were exploring an initiative by Pauline Grogan. It was for children and grandchildren to create a personal playlist for their loved one. On the application form we were asked to name six songs Nanna loved. Songs that came to mind immediately were Jerry and the Pacemakers, you’ll never walk alone, The sound of music, Amazing Grace, Lorde. We suggested the therapist start with, “The hills are alive with the sound of music.”
When the therapist told Nanna about the new programme, she mentioned who had initiated it. Nanna became animated and said, “I know her. She’s my granddaughter’s ex-teacher and marriage celebrant. What does she want me to do?” The therapist was stunned as she began the chosen music. Nanna’s eyes lit up and she began to listen intently – then she started to mouth the words. Suddenly she burst into song singing with passion. Nobody in the previous Care Centre realised she was an opera singer trained by NZ’s famous Sister Mary Leo. From that moment Nanna had a new lease of revitalised energy as she touched the hearts of all who heard her sing. She was in the right place and able to be her best self.
Nanna had the last word. She told the family how she wanted her life to be celebrated and requested that Pauline Grogan officiate at her funeral. Pauline was to encourage everyone to chat to their children and grandchildren about creating a personal playlist. Nanna wanted them to know that her music had given her a wonderful, final two years. Everyone in the chapel clapped when Pauline shared Nanna’s experience. A powerful operatic rendition of Amazing Grace echoed through the chapel and beyond to close the celebration of the life.. Later, over a cup of tea, many people acknowledged they had not thought about the place of personalised music being a healing tool in the final stages of life.
In Nanna’s memory, my mother and I, along with other community leaders, immersed ourselves in advocating that everyone in Care in NZ, have their own personalised playlist. On December 5, 2020, eleven months after Nanna died, “My Music Ignites My Soul,” was launched at Summerset, Hobsonville. The baton was passed to the Director of the Duke of Edinburgh /Hillary Award NZ and will be an option for all community service programmes in schools.
As one of the students from Pinehurst School said on the day of the launch, “I would love to take this unique opportunity to bring back memories of your past. Memories of when you got married or had your first child. Maybe memories of moving from another country. I would love you to remember those special occasions through the music you experienced during your life.” Another senior student from China said, “I miss having contact with my grandparents in China. I want to do my community service with you. I’m excited to help you and your family set up a playlist of the music you enjoyed from when you were young until now.”
I am so proud that Nanna has left a lasting legacy that will enable many people in our country to have their own playlist in Care. I miss my her every day. Every time I hear the song Amazing Grace, I hear her voice and feel her love and strength.
Joanna van Wyk, nee Glover -Granddaughter to Joan McCathie-Rea
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